Pseudo wedding crashers

Martin and I just received a wedding invitation in the mail. And aside from the fact that the wedding is 10 hours away in up-state Michigan….

….we’ve never heard of these people.

We studied the envelope, scrutinized the invite and picked apart every name. We concluded that we haven’t the foggiest idea who these people are. They’re not distant relations, not friends of the family.

I googled each name and discovered that Dad works for the Michigan DOT. The groom graduated from Northern High School in ’96. Father of the groom has a nondescript facebook page. And the couple registered for the Martha Stewart collapsible sink colander, in gray.

If it wasn’t so far away I’d have to attend. Just to check it out and seek a familiar face. But we’re not setting out on a pilgrimage to solve this mystery. Instead, I RSVPed our regrets. I was tempted to write “who are these people?” or something strange like “sorry — same weekend as the S&M convention!”

But I didn’t have the guts.

However, I did personalize the RSVP card with a “Sorry to miss the big day. Theresa and Nathan, can’t wait to see you again!”

And who knows, I might send them the colander.