Apr 8 2010
We may be baking with summer temperatures, but it’s still April — the season for spring cleaning. Time to throw open the windows, air out the house and declutter closets, shelves and attics. But around here, it’s spring “stuffing” season.
That’s why I can’t find anything.
Martin’s journey begins innocently enough — an outing to buy batteries — but he’ll quickly snap up some dvds for the kids, tube socks and boxers, and then a few “as seen on TV” items — a bio-enhanced cutting board the repels germs; an upside-down hanging tomato planter; a hand-held steam cleaner that spits out lavender and lilac aromas. But his true weaknesses? Large tupperware containers, flashlights, throw-blankets, first-aid kits, and water bottles — guaranteed, he comes home with those on every trip.
These $200 shopping excursions drive me nuts, which is why he hides most of what he buys. Especially things he doesn’t want. Because Martin lives by some strange shopping commandment: thou shalt not return purchases.
That’s how I found the hideous electric-blue tea kettle, roosting beside the first-aid kit collection. And a brand-new electric toothbrush (rejected when he found a “cooler” model). Or my personal favorite: the FlipFold — a plastic board that facilitates the folding of clothes, directions included.
But heaving plastic containers out of the house isn’t as dramatic. So I’ll go the old-fashioned yard sale route. Somewhere out there I’m sure someone’s thinking: “I’d love to fold my clothes…if only I had a plastic board that could show me how….”