Ring ring, buzz buzz

We’re enjoying an intermission between storm seasons. Winter’s winds are a distant memory and summer’s walloping thunderstorms are months away.

So there’s no reason to lose any utilities. Yet here we are, facing week two without a home phone. Again.

Our land-line cut out mysteriously about a year ago. Admittedly, a couple of weeks passed before we realized it. I vaguely noticed that we were spared the evening onslaught of telemarketers, but I didn’t know that the phone was kaput until Mom mentioned it. Even then, a few more weeks lapsed before we bothered to get it fixed.

We toyed with canceling the phone, subsisting entirely on cell phones, but the home number is a crucial tool in our Maisie retrieval network. So we kept it.

Then last weekend I picked up the phone and encountered an off-key buzzing, like an irate insect was entombed inside. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just the home phone; Martin’s work number was out too. But this much we knew: since both lines were down from two separate boxes and the internet still worked — the problem was off property.

So another call to the phone company and four days later, confirmation that a technician would be out precisely between the hours of 8 am and 8 pm.

This afternoon the repair guy appeared and made a startling discovery:

“There’s a problem with your phone.”
Martin: no kidding.
“And the problem with the line is down along the river somewhere…”
Martin: I told you guys it wasn’t at the house–
“…so I’ll put in a ticket so someone can fix it.”
Martin: But we already put in a ticket….that’s why you’re here.
“I needed to come out and check that it wasn’t on the property.”
Martin: It took you four days to come out and tell me that you need to send someone else to fix the problem?
Martin: that sucks.

So there you go. No dial tone, no solution, no service. But at least we’ve reached a consensus: the phone does not work!