Go Speedracer!

I now understand the thrill and excitement of watching Nascar. The sound of engines roaring past at 200 mph, that smell of fresh burning rubber. The hair-raising turns and metal-twisting crashes.

I’ve witnessed it first-hand. On a much smaller scale.

And right in the backyard!

The vehicles: pink and blue Schwinn tricycles
The track: the back deck
The course: 8 yards around our oval outdoor table, including two treacherous turns. Speeds not to exceed 1 mile per hour.
Obstacles: a bench, several wooden chairs, one roving canine, and two track officials reading the paper, who periodically yell “slow it down!” while they free bike wheels from chair legs.

Race season opened Sunday morning when Cayden and Hadley discovered that it was easier to ride their trikes on the deck instead of through high grass. That’s all it took. The race was on.

Cayden proved stronger and faster, which offered him the luxury of lapping the table and ramming the back of the Barbarian’s bike. But he rolled his vehicle several times with poor speed control around the turns.

Hadley did her best to make light of the “Schwinn quality” insignia on the handle bars. By hooking her bike around the chair legs, she successfully bent, broke and mangled the bike’s fenders and the plastic do-hickeys that cover the bolts and screws on the tires.

“Wow,” Martin marveled when Hadley took out another chair. “She’s a terrible driver. We’ll have to watch her behind the wheel.”
“Yea,” I agreed, “she sucks. You’d expect more from a 2-year-old.”

After the umpteenth bumper-car collision and a few incidents involving track officials’ ankles, Martin dangled a carrot stick: 100 laps around the table and he’d put Star Wars on TV. It was a prize too tempting to ignore. Officials took refuge inside but promised to count laps from the safety of the couch.

I’m sorry to report that the Boy only completed 55 laps but we turned on the TV anyway….if only to salvage what was left of the bikes and the deck furniture.