Welcome to hell

6:45 pm, shuffling into the kitchen. Greeted by a broken sugar bowl with apology note from the housekeeper.

“I’m thirsty,” Hadley says, lying down on the floor.

“Hadley, that’s not a normal reaction to thirst,” Martin remarks.

So Hadley gets to her feet and projectile vomits all over the floor.

“I’m still thirsty!” she wails, before another round of puke erupts.

I shuffle the Barbarian into the bathroom while Martin roots around for cleaning supplies. He pops open the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink and discovers a leaky pipe. A leak that’s so magnificent, it’s rotted out the floor below.

Well, we have been putting off the plumber — who should have fixed the leaky radiator in our bedroom. And then there’s the bathroom sink… yesterday, Hadley bashed her stool into the drain pipe. The pipe, already weakened by our hard water, burst open.  So now we’ve got the plumber’s trifecta.

As for the puking preschooler? We cleaned her up and plunked her next to the baby, who’s plagued with pink eye–

–and kindly passed her conjunctivitis along to me. She looks forward to sharing her oozing eyes with the rest of the family.

Happy Monday, everyone.