A Rant: You know you’re old when….

I’m officially old.
Carolyn, my coworker, had to explain Facebook to me.
Okay, not “explain” it. I know what “It” is.
I’ve seen “The Social Network,” for Christsakes. And I’m ON Facebook.
But the whole posting thing…your wall versus the news feed versus your profile. Those kinds of details. Carolyn patiently walked me through it…. like a preschool teacher explaining where to put the glue, the scissors and the construction paper.
Holy cow, I’m officially a dinosaur. Cayden will be thrilled.

And now that I’ve thrown that out, I’ll go a little further, at the risk of sounding like the old guy on 60 Minutes. You know — that guy who talks about the rising price of oranges, and wonders why people buy water when it’s free from the tap. That guy who’s mystified by phones and other technology. Andy Rooney.

(Great, I’ve just aged myself another 5 years by naming someone from 60 Minutes.)

At the risk of sounding like a 92 year old, I have to ask:

Who has the time to read all of this garbage on facebook? Much less write it? These random thoughts about nothing! About what you just ate. About what your kid just said. Go outside, people. Do something. Then keep it to yourself!

Actually, strike that.

I blog about my kids, and about mulch and sheep balls. So let me rephrase: read my blog, then go on Facebook and tell everyone about it.

THEN go do something and keep it to yourself!

Carolyn mentioned that facebook is her only form of communication with some friends. I get that. And at work, I sometimes need facebook for work-related stuff. But I always forget my password.

So I use another coworker’s username and password, which she once shared with me. So now I get on as her. Which is creepy. Because I’m lurking on there, as a different person.

And it’s so tempting — when facebook asks what’s on your mind — to write something utterly inappropriate and out of character for her. I want to rave out and insult all of her friends. Or simply declare: Jo is great. There is no one more talented, funny or modest than Jo!