The Tooth Fairy

I had plenty of time to prepare for the Tooth Fairy’s rookie run. Back in January Cayden alerted us to his first loose tooth. By last week the tooth had slumped over, resting at a jaunty angle against its pearly-white neighbor.

Still I didn’t give it much thought until Monday night when our babysitter plucked out the tooth with a napkin.  Suddenly the Tooth Fairy had to deliver.

What’s the going rate for a tooth?” I queried friends on Facebook.

But I didn’t post this question until late night. After dinner and bath and bringing in the horses. I was tired and ready for bed.

So after hitting “refresh” on my laptop and receiving no immediate answer, I retrieved the ziplock baggie from under Cayden’s pillow. I removed the tooth and put a $2 bill in its place.

The two dollar bill came from Martin; exact origins unknown. But I thought it’d be cool.

Well, you’d think I’d slipped a gold brick under Cayden’s pillow or promised him a BMW at 16.

“Two dollars!” my mom said incredulously. “I asked my colleagues and most of them give their kids 25 or 50 cents a tooth!”

Two dollars!” someone wrote on Facebook. “I got 25 cents and then a dollar for my final tooth.”

A dollar,” most people replied. “That’s the rate in our  house.”

 Well, to all you 50-centers or dollar-a-tooth advocates, I have something to say:

You’re either cheap or old.

I got 50 cents for my teeth and that was back in the ’70s.

Factor in inflation and two quarters in 1976 jumps to $1.98 in modern times. I’m not too far off.

In the end it doesn’t matter if I gave the kid $2 or $10 or even $20. Cayden has Martin’s absent minded attention span. They both put down their money and wander off. Once that happens, I swoop in. Consider your money forfeited and reinvested into the bank of Me.

I’m tight-fisted with money; unfortunately I’m less attentive about saving teeth.

On that fateful night of the Tooth Fairy’s visit, she first swallowed an Ambien to help her sleep. Now she hasn’t the foggiest idea where she stashed that tooth.