Bye Beirut; Back to the Blog

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I’ve been home for almost a week but can’t manage to write anything about the trip. I’ve tried, but each time I’m stuck staring at a blinking cursor on a blank page.

It’s hard to sum up 11 days in Lebanon and Turkey. Call it writer’s block (The alliterative title’s a dead giveaway. Hello, writer’s slump….)

But it’s been 6 days and I’m sick of struggling to string together a few words. My solution: post photos, less commentary.

Are you ready? Let’s begin.

 

Well, now I do have something to say, because this next photo requires context.

I left for Beirut on a Sunday night; I didn’t arrive until Tuesday morning. Tuesday. Morning

Do the math: add travel time from DC, a layover in Istanbul, time zone changes… it doesn’t add-up.

Because there’s an added factor, which goes as follows: 

If a passenger on a flight to Istanbul discovers his pistachio nut allergy while flying over the Atlantic, then how long will the trip take?

Answer: factor in that the pilot will turn the plane around. After the passenger flops around like a fish because his airways have closed up… while the flight attendants casually hunt for an EpiPen (Now where is that thing? Oh here it is, behind the trash bags and the toilet sanitizers….).

Meanwhile, another passenger — a Turkish doctor — steps in and evaluates the patient. Diagnosis: anaphylactic shock, but says the doctor to anyone listening, “He no want the shot. He say he don’t like needles.

That’s when two American doctors pop through the curtain separating economy from first class and surmise that Pistachio Nut must have the shot, unless he wants to croak on the plane.

The Americans jab Pistachio– who has ceased fish-flopping due to oxygen deprivation — with the EpiPen. Then they stick him with steroids. As the plane turns around, the pilot chatters at length over the PA system (in Turkish), then provides a snippet of his soliloquy in English: “We go to New York.”

We are hundreds of miles off the coast of Nova Scotia, so New York is really far away. Pistachio Nut needs a hospital — but we’re not talking a heart transplant — so I pipe up. “New York? Why are we flying to New York? How about Halifax? What’s wrong with Halifax?

Everyone else is quiet, except the folks glaring at Pistachio and muttering about their missed connections. Then there’s the passengers in the back, who are really peeved because the flight attendants had just served their dinners only to snatch them up and stuff them in the trash.

When a flight attendant appears in my aisle, I grab her arm. “What about Boston? Boston has tons of hospitals. Why don’t we land there?” (Pistachio Nut is breathing but he’s slumped over, like a fish gasping his last breaths.) The attendant pulls away from my grip and plucks the fork from my seatmate, who’s frantically snarfing down his food before its emptied in the trash.

Finally, the pilot speaks again — Turkish-Turkish-Turkish — then pauses and says, “Halo passengers, we land at Boston.”

Victory! Logan Airport gives us a rousing welcome.

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Paramedics drag Pistachio to an awaiting ambulance. And then, for reasons never disclosed, we idle at Logan. For hours.

So there’s the equation: a normally 11-hour flight, plus the 5 hour Pistachio Nut detour, plus a missed connection in Istanbul, plus a 3-hour layover, plus two hours to Beirut, equals Tuesday morning.

Okay, Beirut. How do I describe that city? A mix of old and new. Posh pads next to crumbling rubble.

Buildings like this:

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Right next to this:

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It is distinctly Middle East… except where it’s not.

Like the shopping district, which was void of traditional or local boutiques. Instead, we find a row of high-end retailers: Versace, Gucci, and Dolce & Gabbana. And across the street? A mall fit for Anytown, USA, complete with a Gap, Bath & Body Works, Abercrombie & Fitch, Dunkin Donuts…. 

It’s a bit of a bummer — traveling to a foreign land, half-way around the world — only to discover that Old Navy’s having another 2-for-1 sale.

Still, there are subtle nuances.

 

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Soldiers. Hoards of them.

I’m sorry… but an entire military platoon with tanks and trucks? It doesn’t blend with Versace.

I approached several soldiers. They were happy to direct me to the nearest Domino’s. But they were not too keen to discuss their activities. Or to be photographed. No photos!

Yea, whatever.

Look, this guy’s picking his nose.

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Overall, Bierut was pretty gritty. And populated with a huge volume of cars and trucks (many of which haven’t been seen US roads for 30 years). And the drivers are lawless. Red lights? Pedestrians? No reason to stop…

Also par for the course: frequent power outages. They’re a daily occurrence.

Not surprising, given the wiring:

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Beyond city limits? Lots of beautiful, picture-perfect spots. Pretty locales:

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Too many to post here.

My next blog entry: photos from my cousin’s wedding.

Pictured below: me and my cousins, who tower over me and emphasize my shrimpiness.

Thanks guys (left to right: Peter, Stu and Bryan.) Next photo-op, I’m bringing a step-stool…

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